What's happened to the Democrats?

President-in-exile, Al Gore


Does anyone know where they went? I was always under the impression that the American Democrats were the opposing political party to the American Republicans. I never knew they were simply a group of quiet, polite people lurking in the corridors of Washington's Capitol Building.

Michael Moore was right when he said that "the French have become the new Democrats". Indeed, the population of France provides harder opposition to the Bush Administration than the Democrats seem to. But even more concerning is that Republican Senator John McCain frequently sounds more critical of the current US government than the Democrats do. What happened to them?

Though they lacked control of the Senate and House of Reps during most of the 1990s (as they do now), the Democrats at least held possession of the White House and a cabinet containing such formidable figures as Madeleine Albright. Clinton was a popular leader, who left office in 2000 with the highest approval rating of any American president. The Gore campaign was a strong and successful one. In what way successful? Well, Al Gore won the most votes... But he lost the election after the Supreme Court, not the voters (yes, the Supreme Court, not the voters), decided the outcome of the election. It will, as we all know, be remembered as the beginning of the end for America's credibility and international image. It will also go down in history as one of the most open and unashamed riggings of an election in a so-called democratic nation. It was nothing short of a fiasco.

Since 2001, we have witnessed the most incompetent, stubborn, suppressive and brutal government the United States has had. George & friends have brought us:

- manipulation/invention of "evidence" to justify war
- the illegal tapping of private phone calls made by law-abiding citizens
- the destroying of civil liberties upon which America was founded
- the killing of countless people in Afghanistan and Iraq (and other places too, I'm sure)
- the breach of the nuclear reduction treaty with Russia
- the torture of men in Guantanamo Bay and other US-run prisons worldwide
- the Abu Ghraib incident and all the other prison incidents that didn't have photo-snapping idiots present
- the unashamed destruction of the environment
- the worsening of global warming
- the worst public speaker and most unintelligent creature in history

The list goes on... I don't need to tell you of the shit that's occurred in America and around the world on George's watch. We know it and the media were always happy to let us know in entertaining, friendly ways.

Bill Clinton was impeached for misleading his country over the Lewinsky affair. Yes, we were all wildly shocked when it turned out that Bill had indeed engaged in oral sex with Monica, had used a cigar as a sex toy, had come on her blue dress and had later flatly denied the affair. I mean, come on Bill. When you're the US President and the world's cameras are on you, we want you to tell us how you do it and with whom.
OK, so in all seriousness, it was wrong of Clinton to lie as he did. Lying is not usually a good thing. But the subject was SEX. It affected Bill, Monica, Hillary and Chelsea. It did not place any lives at risk. It did not create a trillion-dollar defecit. It did not turn the world against America. Nevertheless, Clinton became the second US president to be impeached. He was later acquitted by the Senate.

Bush's lies have involved WAR. Unlike the Lewinsky saga, people have been killed, a massive defecit has been created, and the world has turned against America.

In 2004, John Kerry and the Democrats were presented with an utterly dismal 4-year Republican record to play with. In 2005, Bush enjoyed his second inauguration.

What have the Democrat-led Senate inquiries achieved? They remind me of Australia's Royal Commissions. Designed to bring the baddies to justice, ultimately resulting in a slap over the wrists, while at the end of the day Australia remains a place where you can clean up and piss off. But drawing even closer parallels are the Democrats and the ALP.

The administration's ignorance in the period leading up to September 11, during which many pages of evidence (real evidence this time) were available for scrutiny and might have enabled better preparation for an attack, has passed as merely a regretful lack of alertness on the part of George and his cabinet, all of whom were probably too busy holidaying on their redneck ranches.

From the day Clinton announced his run for office, the Republicans were onto him. When he became president, the digging for dirt only intensified. Soon enough, the Republicans had organised an entire "independent" counsel to bring him down. They had to wait until 1998 before they could find anything with which to damage the Clintons, and it came in the form of a stained dress. In other words, the Republicans were on the front foot to find stuff that didn't exist. The Democrats have been the opposite: laying low, staying quiet, whilst out there awaits a paradise of stinking, corrupt Republican shit that is sure to be infinitely more damaging than cum on a garment.